Can A Church Really Not Have a Men’s Ministry?

This week I heard from a pastor who stated his church doesn’t have a men’s ministry.  As I thought about the statement I began to wonder, ‘Can a church really not have a ministry to men?’  Or is it they don’t have a formal ministry?  And if they don’t have a formal ministry, what are they telling the men that walks onto the campus of the church?

I have heard another pastor state we don’t need a formal organized men’s ministry, we just need to disciple our men.  Okay… I believe I understand what this pastor was saying is that he doesn’t want a ministry built around events.  I get that.  Ministries to men should not be built around events.  But how does your men know they are a priority and important in your church?  There are many ways you can do this even with the current activities you have going on without creating new ones.  But I will have to save that discussion for later.

The priority of the church is to make disciples.  Jesus made that clear in Matthew 28:19-20.  Therefore, this is the priority of any men’s ministry – to make disciples.  Not to have events, though events does have its place in the ministry.

Events create entry points for men to connect with other men.  Could be with men of similar interests or just men getting together.  The key is connecting and developing relations with other men (though we men typically don’t use this terminology about becoming friends with other men).  As men become friends with each other then we can encourage men to move into discipling relationships.  Rather it is in a Sunday School class, Life Groups, Home Study Groups, or a small men’s groups.

So what happens when a church does not have a ‘formal men’s ministry’ or they say they don’t have a men’s ministry at all?  Does this tell the men of the church they are not a priority?  Is this why many men develop an attitude that church is for the women and children?   Are we sending a message that it is okay to be influenced by the world?  Will the men feel it unnecessary to attend a gathering of the saints?  No one could probably say for sure; but, one thing though is for sure, if the men do not think they are important, then you will have a hard time reaching them.

Every man that walks onto the campus of a church should feel as though a priority is placed on the men.  We have heard the statistics of how important it is to reach the men.

  • If a child is the first in a household to come to Christ, there is a 3.5% probability everyone else in the household will.
  • If the mother is the first to come to Christ, there is a 17% probability everyone else will follow.
  • If the Man, Dad, Husband is first, there is a 93% probability everyone else will follow.

Henry Ford is quoted as saying;

“Your system is perfectly design to produce the results you are getting.”

To put this in churchy speak; a church’s ministry to men, regardless of the type, will produce the type of men attending the church or not attending church.

You do have one, rather it is recognized as one or not; organized or not.  You are telling your men something.  How do you want the men who walks on the campus of your church to feel?   Think about this the next time you think about the men’s ministry of your church.

Together in the challenge and adventure to disciple men. – Mike

Do Not Let Your Seminareist Get in the Way of Your Ministry to Men!

I know that Seminareist is not a formal word.  But the title is a statement a mentor once told me when I started in men’s ministry.  He reminded me that those of us who have a deep intentional intimate relationship with Jesus Christ, often forgets that most men do not have this relationship.  Decades, even centuries of men not being in a discipling relationship has resulted in men not knowing what this means.

As I have travel and met with men of various churches throughout my region and state, I do find that some churches are getting on board with developing a vibrate discipling ministry for their men.  However, there are still way too many that are not.  In the area of North Carolina that I live, I don’t have to use all the fingers on my hand to count the number of churches I have visited that has an active discipling ministry outside of the Sunday School.

men-gathering-1I recently asked a group of men who are active in their respective churches, “How do you know your church cares about or shows they have a priority toward the men?”  Not one  of them stated it was because they were involved in a discipling relationship, even though each of them were.  Their answer was centered around events for men.  A couple of men even said it is a shame our church does not have a men’s ministry, even though the church has a vibrate discipling ministry that involve many men.  Another said I have to go to another church to attend men gatherings because my church does not have a men’s ministry even though his church also has an active discipling ministry.

Men do not associate discipling groups with men’s ministry even though that should be a part of the ministry – an important part.  Men need entry points to connect with other men.  Men need entry points to develop those relationship that will move them into discipling relationships.  To get them at least involved in a Sunday School or a home study group.

It breaks my heart when I hear churches state they don’t need a formal ministry to men.  This tells me that men are not a priority.  They will argue with me this is not true.  Then I ask what are you doing to convince men they are a priority?  And all they can say is that we have a dicipling ministry.

img_20131108_184345_297If you never have events design specifically for men, if you don’t have a place for men to gather, if you don’t speak directly to your men regularly, what convinces them they are a priority?  We often talk about how men are visual.  If they cannot see a men’s ministry what makes one think there is one and that men are important to the church.

Let me challenge the pastors and men’s leaders out there, or any man who may be reading this.  Ask the men of your church, “What do we do as a church that makes you think men are a priority here?”  Then record your answers in the comments for this post.  Maybe it will change my perception of what I have been seeing and hearing.  Or maybe it will validate it.  Either way I would like to here throughout the state, nation, and world what makes men think they are a priority for their respective churches.

Together in the challenge and adventure to disciple every man – Mike

A Spiritual Happy Man Is in A Small Group

As we continue on the habits of a spiritual happy man let’s review the premise we established last month.  ‘The strength of a church is not proportionally related to the strength of its programs or ministries; not related to the number of members or people attending; not related to the popularity of the pastor or his ability to expand and deliver the Word of God; but, of the spiritual strength of each man who is in the church.’

Today we are going to look at the habit of men being in small groups.  Why do leaders make such a fuss to get men in small groups?  What do they see, that wants men – you – in a small group?

Man StruggleMen tend to be isolationists; we like to live our lives in isolation.  Yes, we get together and have a good time; but, when it comes to day-to-day struggles, we tend to try and work it out for ourselves.  When women have problems or concerns they move toward relationships – when men have problems or concerns they tend to move towards isolation.  We have been wired and trained from the earliest of age to believe that if we cannot deal with our own problems it is a sign of weakness.  And you know what, the Devil knows this.

Scripture tells us that “Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour”, (1 Peter 5:8).  Noticed that I underlined “someone.”  The scriptures does not say a group of people but someone, a person who is alone.  Lions attack sick, young, or straggling animals; they choose victims who are alone or not alert.  Peter warns us to watch out for Satan when we are suffering or struggling with an issue.  If you are feeling alone, weak, helpless, and cut off from other believers, or if you are so focused on your troubles that you forget to watch for danger, those are the times when you are especially vulnerable to Satan’s attacks.  During times of suffering, we need to seek Christian brothers for support.  Satan understands the value of isolation and attacking those by themselves.

Oftentimes you will see men who are always acting as if everything is great, fine, perfect.  We ask each other how are you doing and we answer with, “Everything is great, couldn’t be better.”  But deep down we know that we are struggling as we are seek answers and we are at a lost on what to do.

Jesus built a small group when he chose those twelve men to walk alongside him; men who he poured his life into for three years.  He started the mindset of a small group and the purpose of the small group.  So, we see that God in is His infinite wisdom recognized that He has more options to help you when you are in a small group.  Think about it – when you are isolated, who has more options?  The Devil, a predator like a lion seeking to devour you.

Discipleship GroupSo, you ask what can a small group do for me?  Well, we can start with scripture.  Paul wrote to the Galatians, Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.  Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.  Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ,” (Gal. 6:1-2).  No brother in Christ should ever think that he is totally independent and does not need help from others, and no one should feel excused from the task of helping others.

Solomon in his wisdom wrote, Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.  For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow.  But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!,” (Ecc. 4:9-10).  Then in verse 12 Solomon wrote, And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand hima threefold cord is not quickly broken.”  Men we need each other.  Notice in verse 12 Solomon said “a man might prevail.”  This does not mean he will.  It just means he might win some battles; but, he will not win them all, or even close.  Men, as all humans, are built and designed for companionship, not isolation, for relationships, not loneliness.  We are not here on earth to serve ourselves; but, to serve God and others.  Don’t isolate yourself and try to go it alone.  Seek companions; seek a small group.

Hebrews 10:24-25, let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.  Yes, I know that we typically use this scripture to encourage the saints to gather together for worship on Sunday mornings.  But the scripture does not really differentiate the difference of Sunday mornings or just gathering together.  Look what the writer says, “consider how to stir up one another to love and good works” and “encouraging one another.”

courageous-movie-men-praying-7Let me share one more scripture that is very familiar in ministries to men, Proverbs 27:17; oftentimes we use this verse, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”  There is truth here, but the only way this can be applied in our lives is to spend time with other men.  Other men, who we will give permission to challenge us when they see us missing the mark; holding us accountable in our walk with Christ.

So, what makes a really good small group for men?  Two or more men who want to walk more closely with God (I recommend groups of no more than four to five for accountability purposes), a leader who is passionate for his men and prays for them regularly; and a respect for the process of relationships.  In other words, kind of like the Vegas slogan, “What is said here, stays here!”

Let me encourage you, if you do not have such men in your life; find one or a group of men.  You will be blessed to have such men who will challenge you, be a listening ear when you need to talk, and more importantly, pray for you.  “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”  The only way this can happen is to have someone in your life that will sharpen you, to knock off those rough edges and smooth the edge so you can be ready to fight the battle that lays before us every day.  To put on that whole armor of God that Paul speaks of in Ephesians Chapter 6.

We need men who will stand shoulder to shoulder with us every day.  When you see pictures depicting ancient times with men readying for battle, how are those men standing in formation?  Or if you watch movies such as Troy, or Braveheart as the men are getting ready to charge, how are those men standing?  Shoulder to Shoulder.

Will you be a man who will stand shoulder to shoulder with another man in this battle?  Will you pour your life into other men?  Will you let other men pour their lives into you?  Do you want to change families in your church?  Do you want to change your church to be more of an impact to your community?  Then start by sharing life with other men – men within your church and men outside your church.  Developing relationships that will sharpen each of us to be the man God desires for us all and imparting the Gospel of God into each other’s lives.